Lincoln must be spinning in his grave, in which case someone needs to cut off his head and fill his mouth with garlic.

They're all better than William Henry Harrison: Vampire Hunter.  The guy caught pneumonia his first night on the job.

You come at O'Neal, you best not miss.

"There is no DJ I should like to see so much as Skrillex!" -Abraham Lincoln

Alleged Vampire Hunter

You forgot moustached.

Phew!  Thanks for the correction.  I'd have to have been some kind of pervert to be turned on by a cartoon chipmunk!

Call me old fashioned, but I always need to go on a couple of dates before I decide it's time to get plowed by a ghost wearing a gimp suit.

Really, either of the titular Gilmore Girls could fit the category for me as they were roughly equal in their cuteness, quippiness and cultural savvy, but I was always more into Rory since she was closer to my age at the time and the nerdier one.

Dichen Lachman definitely needs to be a part of this conversation.

I cannot tell you how glad I am to learn that I was not the only 7-year-old wondering about the strange feeling stirred in me by a cartoon chipmunk.

Has it ever crossed your mind that you're far too young for her?

Sure, Rubber Man's handsome, but you'd need to have something in common for him to really be crushworthy.  Rape and murder are fine hobbies, but can you really build a relationship on them?

Oh, God…I completely forgot my 11-year-old head-over-heels crush on Topanga.  I was such an idiot that I figured the show was set in Philadelphia and I lived near Philadelphia, so there was a chance I would run into her somewhere.

Homos.

Did they specify which one?  Their daughter might have a weird thing for Jon Pertwee.

@avclub-90248d0a98105fa534cf2b0696ddd12f:disqus , please turn in your badge and your gun.

Between the two of them, it sounds like TV writers like to rub it in the faces of their high school bullies.

"In America, first you get the AV Club comment section meme, then you get the cameo on Parenthood, then you get the women."

The Sandra Oh Medicine Show sound like a old-timey wagon that would travel from town to town selling tonics and elixirs.