Ever hear of SPOILER ALERTS?!

There is no Dawes but Dawes, and Hyden is His prophet.

Hey, I have only two toes, hardly ever move, and have a complex ecosystem of microorganisms growing on my body.  CALL ME, KRISTEN!

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW DAWES?

These episodes feel like they're just wheel-spinning.  Get to the climactic trial, already!  That's what we all want to see!

We should call it 60 Rock.

Every show ever must have an episode titled "Homecoming."

"Ma'am, the Secretary of Defense regrets to inform you that your son has been placed back on the NBC schedule."

A staff member better come to my door and give me the news in person, like military casualty notification teams.

They'll probably screw up the tag, and the story will have a bunch of angry comments like "What the hell?  This doesn't have anything to do with Kid Nation!"

Singing is just a primitive form of music that has been made obsolete by dubstep.

He's got the swivel chair and the white cat . . . if he starts wearing a claw-like metal glove we should start to worry.

ERIK ADAMS LIED
NERDS' HOPE DIED

I'd like to hear more about NBC's upcoming can programming.  Is it a professional kick-the-can league?  A krautrock version of American Idol?  A Wet Hot American Summer spinoff?

Jeez, Renaton, where have you been?  We were all worried.

That reminds me, it's time for my periodic check to see what awesome projects Enver Gjokaj has coming up!

Sexy Zombie
Sexy Axe Murderer
Sexy Bride of Frankenstein

He could be a Rubber Rod Serling, introducing each episode while wishing he had a mouth-hole to smoke his cigarette.

Wow, I guess Kevin Barnes has finally run out of phrases from "Faberge Falls For Shuggie" that he can repurpose as album titles.

"I agree with all of the critiques in the Pitchfork review."