Damn, they knew how to do TV theme songs in the 70s. This, WKRP, Sanford and Son… Not just good tunes, but completely appropriate to the tone and attitude of the show.

1. Miller's Crossing
2. Barton Fink
2. A Serious Man (too close to call)
4. The Big Lebowski
5. No Country for Old Men

We're through the looking glass here, people. White is black, and black is white.

So we're allowed to think the movie is bad, but we're not allowed to think it could have been better. Gotcha.

Oh, and next time you're watching football and a receiver drops a pass in the end zone, you're not allowed to get angry until you become a professional football player and catch a touchdown pass yourself.

Give it up, guys. Apparently no one is allowed to have an opinion on a movie they didn't make.

Or the porn version, Christmas in Tim Conway.

Goodness, what a roller coaster ride this turned out to be.

Meanwhile, somewhere Martin Lawrence is screaming to the heavens, "Will Smith, why have thou forsaken me?"

And he nails it! Good form.

The AV Club Reveals Nothing

Really? Because its violence is the only thing I found funny about it.

Good God, Lemmons.

I walked into work one day, was slammed with that odor, and thought, "Oh boy, somebody burnt the popcorn." Since then, I've been trying to get that to catch on as a euphemism for when someone fucks something up in a very conspicuous way. "Man, did you see that presentation Mark put together? He really burnt the…

Do you know how to make a shoe smell?

I think Mardi Gras offers some stiff competition. Fewer explosions and less charred meats, but 10 times the outdoor drunkenness, plus copious boobie flashings.

I want him to know that I'm happy for him. I wish nothing but the best for you both.

Until he gets tired, and then he does sit down.

The entirety of Episode 7 will be set inside a trash compactor.

JJ Abrams has a loose, sloppy mystery box.