In a just world Donald, that would be true…

Still a better idea
Than hiring a fake Gordon Freeman spokesman.

Failure is not the preferred nomenclature Dude. Failure-American, please.

Really?
I'd think it would be going to shake a GI's hand at an Army hospital, only to suddenly realize it isn't there.

I took the spread on Ray Liotta.

I found that abandoning politics for alcohol and football has greatly increased my personal happiness.

Would anyone like a rye bread loaf?

BLACK GUYS ARE DATING YOUR DAUGHTERS!

That's why I'm keeping on all my clothes

Ooohhh I get it now

Heaton is a far-right Catholic, Leah Remini from King of Queens is the Scientologist.

I dunno
Better than "Ghost SOP" I reckon.

Ah well
Maybe Caprica reruns can be dumped on a low-end cable networks like SyFy

Forget about the FUCKING toe!!

Somebody
END THIS! Please!

She is our Sarah Connor!
Why won't you listen?! She's trying to save everything!

Is tasteful nudity too much to ask for?

Yeah because only dumb Asians would tattoo in Bangkok, right?

Wow
Maybe Ashton should tweet this.

I point to when Homer was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally
proved there is no god.