My God.

Well, there's White Tiger, who is Hispanic.

Fortunately, I have nothing important to do this weekend! Ahahaha… aw, I made myself sad.

"All right, with the DNA sample in this delicate glass vial, I should be able to determine the cause of—"
*invisible shove*
"GOD DAMN IT."

So you're saying… Doctuar ran away?

Is "Plunkbat" the universal nickname for that game now, or your own invention? Either way, it's delightful.

I typically do that with the Ratchet & Clank games, as it's genuinely fun to tackle the game again with all your weapons from the first run and beefed-up enemies. In particular, the sheer hilarity of mowing down everyone in sight with the game's incarnation of the RINO is always worth the price of admission. Hell, in…

That's an odd take on Gyro, but as long as he has his little lighbulb-robot sidekick, he should be all right.

We can only assume that Diamond Tooth Gertie was a fierce business rival of Glitterin' Goldie.

Would you settle for a gaming Mr. Worf? I mean, "I suggest we attack" is pretty good advice for most video games.

Awesome.

Yeah, the potential for genuinely surprising left turns are what make E3 the most fun. Watching fancy new trailers and whatnot is fun and all, but it's the bombshells and curveballs that really make the experience. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go look up more contradictory idiomatic synonyms for "surprising…

Well gosh, a Kingdom Hearts 3 release date would be just peachy, but I know better than to get my hopes up. But really what I'm looking forward to is the livechat with all you delightful wiseasses. There's nothing quite like collectively goofing over an overlong trailer or malfunctioning onstage demo, only for…

Right now my combat strategy of "flail away with a kanto and hope the other guy's health goes to zero before yours" is working pretty well. Unless the other guy has magic, which will generally one-hit me, in which case the strategy becomes "run away until he runs out of mana, then go back to strategy A."

Yeah, that directionlessness is really at the root of my problem here. Not knowing how to accomplish a goal is one thing, but not even being sure what my immediate goal is makes it frustrating.

Hell no I didn't. I didn't even know about the payoff (conversely, if you finish it with a firearm, I think you get a flamethrower for the next go-round). I was just out of ammo and desperate to kill this freaky-ass monster with whatever I had left.

The thing is, at this point I have no reason to want to win the spitting contest; there's no prize mentioned or anything. But I know that this is an adventure game, and so obviously I'm going to have to win it at some point to make something happen or get some item or other, so I might as well.

Space blessings upon the anniversary of your expulsion from the womb!

My favorite was the end of Silent Hill 3. I literally used up all my ammunition fighting the final boss and was on my last sliver of health. Fortunately the boss was too, because I wound up killing it with the friggin' katana. Even better, if you kill the boss with a melee weapon, the game rewards you with an…

I actually agree with your dad's feelings on what he enjoys about games. I find that what I like best about them is having an appealing world to screw around in, regardless of the genre. I'm more likely to replay a game if I like its world and characters than if I really enjoy its gameplay. A game with clunky controls…