No wonder she assumed she could mend fences with Lapis with just a few clumsy gestures. Her primary reference point for interpersonal relationships is television! And of course Steven acting as her wingman of sorts wasn't much help, since he's arguably even more TV-addled than she is.

I like the idea of Earth's primary export to other worlds being our crazy-ass pop culture.

I can only assume that Ice Queen's literary effort portends an infinite series of alternate Adventure Times, as each alternate Ice Authority Figure creates his or her own fanfiction, inevitably including the successive Ice Authority Figure. I can't wait until we get to Ice Civic Comptroller and his Adventure Time But…

You're not enjoying The Adventures of Peridot and Steven the Half-Gem Wonder, Guest-Starring the Crystal Gems?

"I don't want your garbage" is what really drove that moment home. Peridot just explained in great detail how that particular object helped her and why it's deeply meaningful to her, and Lapis destroys it with a sneer. There's no pretending the problem there was miscommunication or unfamiliarity with Earth or any of…

If a single one of them can control an entire ocean, I imagine they'd be pretty useful in colonization and terraforming and whatnot.

Something that's not insufferable? (I kid, I kid.)

If we're heading down the road of exploring Lapis's characters as thoroughly as Peridot's, I hope it doesn't take too long to find something interesting. I'm not much of a fan of the character so far, but that's mainly because we've only seen her switching rapidly between victim and vengeful ex-victim. At least…

Wasn't Brian Blessed rumored to be playing Odin at some point? Now there's a fun alternate casting.

I will hear no disparagement of Sir Mix-A-Lot nor his stewardship of the ancestral Mix-A-Lot lands!

Alas, no.

Well, this is stupid Internet nonsense, but on the plus side the number of AV Club articles filed under "Butts" is now five.

I suppose, but you'd think they'd pick something with a larger cultural footprint. Did it even last long enough to have tropes to exaggerate that people would be familiar with?

Why in God's name would anyone feel the need to parody Looking in the first place?

Pop-culture website writers must perpetually tread the narrow line between witty and snide, and not every step lands on the right side.

I collected this series for a while when I was a kid, in the spirit of that mindless completism that kids have (and that is the raison d'etre of these series in the first place). I stopped after a few years when I realized how crushingly boring they were. So, uh, I have less of an emotional investment in them.

That was just the first book. After that some rich guy adopted all of them and they had typical kid-lit adventures, eventually delving into mystery-solving.

It's no Big Butt Book / Peter Dinkalge Hula Hooping, but it'll do.

That's not a nice thing to say about Univision!

Yeesh. That sounds like absolute hell. Sorry to hear that.