"Potstinking old ben and jerry looking motherfuckers" is going to be added to my every day language immediately, thanks, ZMF.

A friend of mine who regularly goes to Phish concerts swears up and down that he always finds this one guy who sells, as he calls them, "goo balls;" which I've been told are a bunch of different psychedelic drugs cooked into fluffer nutters and served all jiggly and shit. He loves to say "I'm tripping goo balls"…

Dude, my landlord never shuts the fuck up about Phish and their covers. Every time he comes over to fix something I get an earful about "this one time Trey was obviously stoned and just started playing -insert random song- and the rest of the band was, like, just following, man, and it lasted for 15 minutes." Or how…

How about "I hate the smell of patchouli mixed with shit-weed, whirling hippies with dreadlocks that always seem to hit me in the eye when I'm trying to walk by them and never ending jam sessions that sound like everyone involved forgot what song they were playing."

Awesome
I had no idea Phish was still relevant, but it looks like they are. Maybe someone can tell me why it's so enticing to Phish-heads to sit around in their own filth watching the same band play for three days straight. I'm not trying to troll, here, I'm genuinely curious what the appeal is. Somebody please…

First time I watched I Heart Hucakbees was the first time I murdered a cat and sent it to an ex-girlfriend (it was her cat, seemed like the right thing to do) with a note that said "we're all connected, except this cat, he's dead now.

I've got a lot of Dan Brown and James Patterson taking up space on my bookshelf.

36A *and* 58B-6? I don't even know why I joined this stupid Fight Club anymore. I wonder if I can get my dues back.

I always thought the first rule was "blow shit up when you're not fighting," so, fuck, I completely misread that entire book.

You know what happens when you shield kids from things? *You* take the hit. That's why my future children are going to be raised on hardcore pornography, NWA and re-runs of CHiPs. If that doesn't scare them into being normal I've got nothing.

I'm guessing he was going to use them in a performance art/protest piece that relies heavily on jazz-hands, spandex and fisticuffs.

I am Jack's lingering disappointment with the youth of this country.

Or, Ernest Borgnine as Mermaid Man.

What's the movie where the guy and girl work as dog walkers for elderly or developmentally impaired St. Bernards? "Awakenings?"

So does mine, Tom. So does mine.

I remembering reading somewhere that she's really into feeding children to wolves, so you've got that going for you. Which is nice.

I'd be happy with just the one, because, let's face it she's not coming back for more when she has to ask "is it in yet" and I've already started sleeping.

It would be nominated under "reality" not "reality competition," and yes I had no clue that they separated the two in competition, or that there was a reason to do so. Also, best host? What the fuck? You can get an award for being the douchey guy who acts all douche like when the other douches are being douchey for a…

Having just realized "The Simpsons" has never been nominated for Best Comedy I'm even more pissed off that "Family Guy" is now. Oh, sure I laugh at the odd cutaway and I love the whole gay/British/megalomaniac baby angle, and a talking dog is always okay in my book, but fuck me the show isn't *that* good. It's just…

Swell!
Good for Mr. Cube! I know deep down that every single one of us was secretly pulling for an "Are We There Yet" series. I'm going to say this now, and you can all quote me later, but this is going to be the next decades "Seinfeld."