Ahem; "you people are so stupid it makes my head hurt. self righteous hipster douchbags who think they do but don't know shit." That is some reasonable discourse right there.

OTP, you just described this recurring dream I've had since the first grade, except in my dream, Jessica Tandy is raping me with Wilford Brimley's mustache and I always wake up glowing and sore.

No, no, no! We're talking about a person who counts the number of golf tees in the "free tee" bin at your local golf course. Duh!

I've been waiting to say this all week, but thank you to the person at the AV Club/Deceiver booth at Pitchfork on Sunday who gave me a free "Firsties" shirt for no reason other than I mentioned "I'd get murdered by AV Clubbers if I ever wore that shirt in the wrong place at the wrong time." The next thing I know…

JimBOlaya, not the correctly spelled JimBAlaya. Also, explain to me how I shriveled so I don't make that mistake the next time.

No it isn't!

Is this the pre-boot to the Scream reboot I keep hearing about? I don't know

What is PETA's take on Furries? They've got to be somewhat upset/please about them, right?

You promise that *I'd* never have the guts to say that to *your* face? How can you promise that *I'd* never do something? Also: How did you know I have square glasses? You're behind me right now aren't you?

That seems about right. God forbid you step on someones Birkenstock, for you may greatly upset them and be forced to listen to them defend their favorite band until you forget what the fuck they were talking about in the first place and end up agreeing with them just to shut them the fuck up. I get it. You love…

Now *that* is a rational reply to my question, so I thank you LebrOn Hubbard, for you candor. I really have no problems with people who like Phish, The Dead, or even (shudder) DMB, but I cannot fucking stand the people who follow them around and act all high and might because they have "patience" and can…

I cannot fucking wait for that.

People marry *outside* their family? How do they preserve the pure blood line then? My father would be devastated if he could still hear… or walk… or speak without screaming at me about "the spiders in his shoes"… well time to go hose down Uncle Flimflam for a little while. He sure does get ornery when he ain't been…

Yeah, you know what? Fuck hippies right in their fucking necks, because they're just as stuck up and trite as every single hipster d-bag out there, but they're worse because they don't fucking know it. "Oh, I preach peace and love and listening to a 45 minute version of 'somewhere over the rainbow,' but if you say…

LebrOn are you that guy who is going to take his love of jam bands to the grave, because if so that's cool and I don't fault you at all. Everyone is entitled to love whatever music they feel suits them best, but riddle me this: how do you feel about MOE? It's capitalized right? Whatever, I've lobbed a shot your way,…

Every Wednesday this bar by my house does a free movie night, and they usually show b-movies (last year they actually showed "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "Showgirls" in back to back weeks), but a couple weeks ago instead of an actual film they showed a GWAR concert movie and the place went bat shit. I mean, it's a…

What ZMF said.

You're forgive, smauis, and so are you L.H, but for different reasons. It's my untrustworthy, lying, dirty hippie landlord that must now be reckoned with. Reckoned I say! Next time he comes over and starts telling me about that I'm just going to drop a truth bomb and be all "nah, man, that was The Gourds," and I'll…

Wait, what if we never went to college?

No offense, Scrote, but I hate you more than I hate that guy who kicked me in the balls in second grade for no reason. Seriously though, and I have nothing to back this up other than my faith in music, but you're just wrong. Right? Somebody tell me I'm right.