I knew it felt familiar. I loved that show.

No takers for my script about a detective who has a loving family, goes to sleep by ten every night, and drinks maybe two beers every weekend, at most.

I was also the sort of teen nerd who really looked forward to Sunday's On Language column.

What other gritty re-boots of American literary classics would everyone like to see?

There's a fun entry in Hawthorne's American Notebooks where Thoreau, welcoming Hawthorne to the area, ends up giving him the hard sell on a used canoe, which Hawthorne ended up buying. Sucker. http://www.eldritchpress.or…

I do now! Reaching through a rip in the space-time continuum to high-five my pubescent mid-80s self.

Until I see the words "Helen Slater" on any of these announcements, I do not care about this show.

I'm surprised he would deny doing the insane amounts of coke it takes to read all those fucking Knausgaard books.

Go back to Carly Simon! After all, nobody does it—
[mercy-killed by sympathetic AVC mob]

Something tells me this "Abe List" guy doesn't like people in wheelchairs.

"Now, Mrs. Woods, tell the court in your own words what happened after you and your husband were ejected out of the restaurant."
"Well, we pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs. Woods, remember that you are under oath."
"We drove around until three in the morning looking for another open all-you-can-sniff cocaine…

James Woods is a Rhode Islander. Grinder is the preferred nomenclature there.

True. I thought Woods was a cokehead long before I read those tweets.

Congratulations to them for doing a lot of drugs. That's the middle-class intellect's version of youthful adventure. (The older intellect chooses divorce and a meaningless affair.) In fact, Wallace was just an alcoholic with a dependency to marijuana, but he spent a shit-load of time in meetings listening to harder…

The "stealth Christianity" is more complex than he lets on—closer to Dostoevsky than contemporary Evangelicalism. Also, we do not admire Hal as a "tragic" figure—he's not portrayed as tragic, but let's assume he is—because he's smart. In fact, Wallace shows that his "smartness" is a flaw in his character, a substitute…

They published a lot of good work, Matt Taibbi's articles especially. The above is not an example of their good work.

This makes me embarrassed for the teenager who wrote it. Once the Adderall wore off, I'm sure he felt the same.

I'm… not? I just assumed "CineCraft" was a boy's name.

Notting Hill lied to us. It fucking lied right to our fucking faces.

Probably not even if she weren't famous. (Because (a) lesbian, and (b) I'll get there first.)