I'll admit, that is some fuckin' solid Homeless Jared Leto cosplay.

"But not the good kind, like you want."

I MAKE BAD LIFE DECISIONS, OK?!

Does it really matter?

I am currently drinking vodka mixed with Pedialyte. This is uhh…….a new low.

I'm frequently day drunk and I'm still way more coherent.

He's gonna blow his entire fortune to stay out of jail but no one will be sad when he dies.

I love coming to an entertainment website to see your shitty ass comments!

I'd give just about anything to see someone shoot Mitch McConnell right in the fucking face.

How about we never mention Milo Yiannopoulos in any context ever again, except for maybe his obituary?

He gave you TWO nicknames?!

I worked at a Blockbuster and the only notable thing to happen to me was some crackhead grabbing an armload of DVDs and bolting the fuck out the front door while I stood behind the counter, mouth agape.

Whenever I see a picture of Kirsten Stewart I always imagine she's thinking "DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

That is my sister in law's favorite song, no lie. She was so thrilled when I made sure the DJ played it when my wife and I got married.

Trump couldn't make money with casinos. CASINOS!!!!!! I'd rather trust my life savings to the guy always panhandling at the on-ramp I take every day to get to work.

Don't worry, most of them will die of high blood pressure and complications from diabetes once they lose their health insurance.

Our union shop steward has a TRUMP bumper sticker on his car and I hope that motherfucker dies of gonorrhea and rots in hell.

Hollywood accounting has zero basis in reality. Adam Sandler still gets over $20 million a picture, for fuck's sake.

Was it a charity event to raise money for Judge Reinhold's electricity bill?

It's actually a good scam if you can get on the show. The producers pay any "judgments" that are levied and you probably get a few hundred bucks for your time.