"Look honey, ANYONE can have a kid. But this half-assed cable network is showing a cartoon marathon!*

Yeah but it's an Appleseed Cast hoodie, so it's cool.

…the first thing I saw was Bart wearing a metal mask and he was being dragged around by Lisa by a leash.

Oooh look at me, Mr. I Have A Job!! Next you'll be telling us your diet doesn't exclusively consist of cans of Beefaroni stolen from the local Food Mart.

Your limo has non-power windows?

Watch out! He's got his probe!

Pete Bondurant would clear this shit up in a heartbeat.

If I'm Brad Pitt, I would jump at the chance to give Angelina full custody. Having a bunch of ankle biters with dumb names hanging around can only hinder his quest to dip his wick in all of that grade-A Hollywood strange.

If I ever get to ride on a private jet, you better fuckin' believe I'm going to be intoxicated and belligerent as shit.

Anyone remember "Dice: Undisputed" on VH1? Now that was some sad shit. From a New York Times review:

Ehh to me, the Marvel movies are just a lot of special effects and bright colors and Robert Downey Jr. making smug faces. But, if they're all making money, get ready for a shitload more from both universes!

Hold up your badge….so they'll know you're a policeman.

That looks like the perfect outfit to wear while I'm swigging Jack Daniel's and watching "Jeopardy!"

He's sayin' what we're all thinkin'!

I saw Beck when I was in high school and the most memorable moment of the show is when Beck, in between songs, took a drink of milk that was set out for him on the stage and declared to the audience "I prefer my milk…….homogenized."

They already have camps for the stupid, it's called The Gathering of the Juggalos.

Eugenics is fuckin' sweeeeeeeet.

I like how you doubled-down on your fuck-up, Trump style.

He'd still get beat out by Terry Crew's Pecs.

If any of those people actually exist they should be sterilized.