Most of them won't make it around the block.

I'd imagine all the people who worked on this product have at least one college degree. All that schooling and hard work and late nights at the office to come up with "Uhhhh just sprinkle Cheetos dust on it."

Do I still get sodomized if I drink the Kool-Aid? Cuz if not, that's a dealbreaker.

This is, I believes, called Food Libraries.

I'll have the Clams Casino!

Judging from how fucking creepy he was, I'm pretty sure the Burger King King is doing a stretch in prison for multiple counts of home invasion and sexual assault.

Still no substitute for smoking the Cheetos dust right out of a lightbulb.

I bet that cop still thinks of that as the best day of his life.

Pfff if Berg was so tough he wouldn't have gotten his ass kicked by James "The Grim Reaper" Roper.

They definitely put more than 10 minutes worth of work into it, that's for sure. Respect.

Look, the obvious answer to gun violence is MORE guns. Because as we all know, if your house were to catch on fire, the fire department would show up and immediately start hurling Molotov cocktails at the flames destroying your home.

Ironically enough, I'm sure some Walmart patrons bought some of that soda using loose change scrounged from in between the seat cushions of their '89 Bonneville.

That movie is surprisingly good. Especially the end, where Chris Evans and the girl who plays Janie are like "This is fucking dumb, there's no way we'll actually stay together."

Michael Shannon is probably a really nice guy in real life but holy shit does he creep the hell out of me.

I'm pretty sure that's just code for "No studio would give me any money for this garbage."

I love reading about shows/movies that tank because the star is such a control freak yet all their ideas are fucking awful. The Love Guru is a prime example of this.

I believe the laugh track button for Big Bang Theory got permanently stuck in the "On" position sometime early in season 1 and the producers just shrugged and said "Fuck it."

This movie better feature John Malkovich doing a terrible Russian accent.

Ooh maybe they can get JT Dolan to help write the……….uhhh never mind.

I say his wife is actually worse. Sure, Cosby is a scumbag raper but she seems to not really give a shit about all the times he cheated on her. By raping women.