"OK so this time we're gonna steal a huge safe that weighs god knows how many tons and pull it through the streets behind some ricer cars…"


"Hey man, can't we just go work at Del Taco? I'm fuckin' beat."

"Hey Sarge, can't we just start at his coke dealer's house?"

I only really saw the first one. Did they ever explain how a crew of robbers went from (barely) being able to rob some 18 wheelers hauling DVD players to like, pulling off the world's most insanely difficult crimes? All because they can drive cars real good and stuff?

Why are you talking to me this bullshit?

Aren't kids kidnapped by someone known to them like, 99% of the time anyways?

It's cool, he'll donate a few rounds of golf.

"Double Zero?"

Flea said, “this is just the greatest thing that could ever happen. This is the day that I will never forget in my life.”

That guise? You guessed it: Frank Stallone.

Not really.

Is Ron Perelman still OK?!

Too bad Philip Seymour Hoffman is dead, he'd be a lock to play the part.

Yea the disclaimer will read "If you are watching this, you are a dumbshit."

It is soooooo fucking appropriate that those anchors are based in Philly.

Doesn't Lauer have to film his cameo in the next piece of shit Sharknado movie? I hope that guy dies of gonorrhea and rots in hell.

Is it Billy Bush?

Well that's the reaction you want in an emergency situation from a cop: Blind, foolish panic.

Excuse me, I believe the term is "mimbo."

Eric Roberts' wig in that movie deserved $20 million.

Coincidentally, Ghostwriter is also the best track off of "Deadringer".