Solo, I know for a fact that you do not party.

Christ, who even has the energy to give a fuck at this point

That looks like Ron Swanson with a severe case of jaundice.

BOB JOHNSON…no, wait.

BLAST HARDCHEESE

GO AWAY, 'BATIN.

Worst quote from that story:

Probably some Jew.

Can I put it in a light bulb and smoke it? Otherwise, no dice.

Incredible username/post synergy.

The pirates better be really rapey.

Soooooo is any of that cocaine left?

Bob Johnson! No, wait….

It definitely shows. Kilmer even has to pull the spare clip out of a duffel bag.

I wonder if some dipshit hipsters ever named their bar trivia team "Aaron Altman's Flop Sweat."

Now I gotta watch the bank heist scene from Heat with the sound turned all the way up. Val Kilmer reloads his weapon at one point faster than most Marines.

King needs to get back on cocaine.

I'M ALREADY BORED AND CONFUSED

But the group insists that it’s not showbiz rivalries or animosity from the past that’s kept them apart, but busy schedules.

Where does July 4th weekend rank on the list of worst holidays to work?