I'd rather watch that other movie where Jenny McCarthy throws up on her boobs.

You know Jenny McCarthy won't actually fuck you, right?

Yeah but that's to be expected from a lifetime of people (barely) tolerating you and pretending you're funny because you're a girl with a nice ass.

Who the hell casts Eddie Kaye Thomas as a leading man? He looks like a guy who's been arrested multiple times for breaking into the women's locker room at a YMCA to sniff panties.

Yeah but why spend your own money when you can get anonymous internet clowns to pay for it (while still retaining all rights to profits)?

Do any of the shoplifters pull Uncle Leo's "I'm an old man! I'm confused!!!" routine when caught?

Also not much of a compliment coming from a guy who looks like the bastard love child of Wolfman Jack and the "Come and get it!!" lady featured in the video for "Whip It".

"Comedy music ensemble" should just auto-correct to "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

I'd like to fund a study to find out exactly what turned Adam Carolla into the shitbag sexist racist he is today. Or I could just fund a study where someone hits him in the head with a 2x4.

1987: Joe Garrelli is arrested on a drunk and disorderly. Case dismissed.

I'd really like to meet Kimmel so I can ask him how drunk he was during the Roast of Flava Flav. Also to commend him on the best line of the night:

Dude you're ancient.

Yeah I'd love to buy some fucking coke too but that dipshit Ron won't answer his fucking phone.

She is…….not good at acting.

How much for a version without a mouth?

Ehh if you just keep your eyes closed you can't tell the difference.

Hollywood needs that money for the next Wayans Brothers abortion of a movie.

Tragic loss to the art world, let me tell ya.

Which Iron Man featured the line "Jarvis, break in. I need to own him"? Fuck these movies.

It's even worse when you read about how much of a psychotic control freak Mike Meyers is on set. It's not even as if outside hands changed his vision, THAT was his vision. Including a scene where he and Kingsley battle with urine soaked mops.