"I'm going to buy a tiny house and be totally independent! I have $12!"
"And where are you going to put your new Palace of Independence?"
"Mom and Dad said I could keep it in the driveway!"

Actually no. Apparently somebody once taught him that 80085 = BOOBS so that has been his pin ever since.

It's a nice thought, but sadly you just cannot underestimate the mental gymnastics and contortions followers will subject themselves to in order to maintain their worldview. This will be no exception.

Great thinking! I'll start, you follow. See you tomorrow!

Ok, but this is neither "FAKE" nor is it "NEWS". It is a thing that happened, was caught on video, and people are laughing about it.

Pro Tip: Crying "FAKE NEWS" only makes you sound as dumb as him.

And 40% of the remaining population is now inexplicably wearing eye-patches.

But on the positive side, it might be safe to go back out on the Internet again, since they won't be on it anymore.

Given the current state of the world, that might be the best option.

I've never heard of most of those and definitely would not have permitted them at my wedding. I've seen the garter done (with and without blindfold) at several weddings. My wife and I were firmly against doing that at ours.

Screw that. We ate our dinner. I paid for all those lobster tails and I was damn well gonna have two for myself.

"Grab them by the pussy" is only 5 words, so your math checks out.

Well, they ordered a "Fuck It" button but apparently there was some miscommunication and the one they got just says "Pussy" and now Trump can't keep his little hands off it.

You forgot "the media is jerks except Fox."

No, but in a couple months you can probably be deported.

This assumes he has actually read and can identify things within his own book.

Maybe this is all part of the plan and instead of saying "farewell" he will really say "in light of these charges I have decided to continue as President."

FWD: FWD: FWD: RE: Balls.

Special Ability: Immune to the Taxes space.

2nd Place in the beauty contest never gets Trumped, which makes them 1st Winner.