this is a seriously excellent column.

I walked out of "Chicago". Didn't get it.

very sweet story, Todd.

Loose seal!

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I'm pretty sure Adam was hit by a cement truck in real life as a teenager.  They worked this in on purpose.

I spent the first half of this article thinking it was being written tongue-in-cheek.  I was disappointed when I found out the tongue wasn't in the cheek.

I spent the first half of this article thinking it was being written tongue-in-cheek.  I was disappointed when I found out the tongue wasn't in the cheek.

no.  and judging by the "seriously" in your sentence, apparently I a) should have heard of it and b) should feel bad about not having heard of it before.

no.  and judging by the "seriously" in your sentence, apparently I a) should have heard of it and b) should feel bad about not having heard of it before.

so, is our best guess that this is a pain fetish?

so, is our best guess that this is a pain fetish?

I think you're right.  I hope my agreeing with you doesn't break the internet.

I think you're right.  I hope my agreeing with you doesn't break the internet.

I didn't really have time to process or even respond to what was occurring.  I stick by my original adjective:  jarring.

I didn't really have time to process or even respond to what was occurring.  I stick by my original adjective:  jarring.

Yes, this.  Buy this.  It's only $5.  I have spent far more for far less.  You won't be disappointed.  Really.

Yes, this.  Buy this.  It's only $5.  I have spent far more for far less.  You won't be disappointed.  Really.

I was really jarred by Liz's sudden nose bleed death sequence.  The scene took me from hope to a feeling of near hopeless desperation in very little time.

I was really jarred by Liz's sudden nose bleed death sequence.  The scene took me from hope to a feeling of near hopeless desperation in very little time.