@avclub-e8e1ea96f3b1bf8e7400065325e188c8:disqus Yep, exactly.  Especially if she says "You know, it's ok if you want to share that with me.  I won't get mad." 

He was actually quite moderate before he ran for president, and on some points, pretty liberal.  While running for president, I got the feeling he was being made to say and do things that he didn't entirely agree with, since about 50% of his voter base was batshit insane. That's why he took a dive.  If you ever…

Obama.

Is she ready to behave herself at the table?

Then they'll see!  They'll all see!

I carry a live snake around in my pocket.  Cause then, also, I get to say, "No, baby, it's actually a snake in my pocket."

Sure I know them.  They're that one band with that one song I heard on YouTube and the singer has that stringy unwashed hair.  The also have that album cover that was taken with the flash a little too high, and they all look super casual and indifferent to the camera.  They're the shit.  Let me in.

Not really "ban" so much as "spare" them from the new Will Smith movie.

I do that.  It totally works.  I mean, I haven't seen any vampires yet so far, so it must be doing something.

Well played. 

Meh.  Big deal.  I have an app for that.  Accurately measures Thetans within 0.25 Hubbards.  Only cost 49.95, plus a two year commitment. 

What is that?  Is that a flip phone?  The nerve!  Pointing his finger and laughing at me like he's all hot shit while holding a phone he got free with a two month prepaid account with Net 10.  Sheesh, get an iPhone already, moneybags!

There was no Ouija board in Blair Witch, but there was a targeting demon.  It cost 22,000 and made 250 million, so it all balances out.  Math!

True, but in many cases, celebrities go from zero to hero pretty quickly, financially speaking.  They make no money and are living hand to mouth just trying to get a part or a gig, and then one movie or gold record later, they make millions and rely on other people (strangers, basically) to make sure it's all handled…

Well, Hatch was just a tool, so I'll exclude him from this.  For the rest of them, though (Snipes, Hill, Cage, Nelson), I think it might have quite a bit more to do with these celebrities being a little more insulated from their finances than most people.  I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out that most of the…

I had always known Stayin Alive and Night Fever were the Bee Gees, and had written them off until I saw Penn and Teller Get Killed, which ends with I Started A Joke and exposed me to a pre-disco Bee Gees.

I love Brown Eyed Girl, and I could go the rest of my life without ever hearing it again.

I had never heard of !!! until I went to Coachella a few years back.  After about 3 minutes of trying to decipher !!!, we decided it was pronounced !Fuck !These !Guys and went to watch Wilco instead.

Yes, yes, I know: We're all a bunch of do nothing shitheads bagging on a celebrity who gets an unfair shake for a couple bad experiences while willfully ignoring the whole of his portfolio and worldy contributions.  Welcome to the Internet, bub.  Gift bags are on the left.

Or, Dr. Drew, you could just help people with life threatening addictions quietly, without the need for publicity or praise.