And why doesn't Chaz just get Cher to pay for it?

How much would it cost re-animate Siskel?

How did Sean miss the story that Brett Ratner went on Howard Stern this morning and claimed that HIS SPERM COUNT IS 10 TIMES HIGHER THAN A NORMAL MAN'S SPERM COUNT? And that Brett Ratner found this to be surprising because HE NEVER USED CONDOMS and LUCKILY HIS SUPER SPERM NEVER IMPREGNATED ANYONE LIKE LINDSAY LOHAN OR…

+5 for me! But the twist was only obvious if you've ever watched South Park before. Ryan wrote this as if he'd never heard of Mitch Connor…

Tracy Jordan saw that this day would come: "TV On! Pornography!"

It's become a lot easier now that he's invented a half-dozen features to give himself bylines. I don't actually have to read the reviews now, which can be a plus (Community). Although I do enjoy me the occasional Sopranos Classic and his season walkthrough on Breaking Bad was great (almost as good as the Community…

Sorry, it's best to ignore the "Word." part. It's like an obsessive compulsion, and despite everyone always complaining about it all of the time, it's still going to follow this sentence.

I'd give you credit for winning this round, but that's the same point I was making, Snidely. I award you no points for your answer and may God have mercy on your soul…

I'll have a comment prepared within 24 hours.

Todd VanDerWerrf wants you to know that Todd VanDerWerff's Top Pick for tonight is a Todd VanDerWerff-reviewed episode of Community. #megalomania

WAIT! Don't forget the one you wrote that appeared yesterday (Parenthood). And the Homeland shout-out. Seriously, at that point, you may as well have just hyper-linked to that too. And, perhaps, there's a bit of truth in what I'm saying. The feature is called, "What's On Tonight?" Not, "TVClub Schedule." Parenthood…

Finally, an AVClub feature that allows Todd VanDerWerff to apply logic-bending, reason-straining comments to every single show on television rather than one at a time.

Sean O'Neal has deftly baited me into watching this by challenging my pride.

Every favorable thing said about this couch gag should be disclaimed with the following: The couch gag wasn't remotely funny.

It's that time of year when we get to endure nine terrible episodes of Dexter so we can enjoy two pretty good episodes of Dexter and one fairly awesome episode of Dexter.

I think I can summarize Boadrwalk Empire thusly: This is the BEST episode of the show I've seen, but I agree that this episode is a B+.

Myles McNutt is pretty awesome at reviewing television. Mr. McNutt, you may have a ridiculous alias, but it's a pleasure to read your nuanced reviews of Weeds and The Office, shows that have become serious challenges for TV critics. Both of those shows are in a state of flux between quality and unwatchability, but…

It has "some" great writing in it, and also some lousy writing in it. It's not bad, but I've never felt like the term "Must See" applied to Boardwalk Empire.

Word.

I think Boardwalk Empire is a better-written show than Walking Dead. But Walking Dead is far more interesting because it has so much more to work with. In fact, the writing is the one thing that held Walking Dead back in the first season.