Oh, shit—NO.

Kermit's part of the gig economy, man. He's gotta take work wherever he can.

"Goddammit!!!"

He wears a toupee??!

This reminds me of how I peed when I was younger.

The HR person (the one who fires people) where I work looks like the evil doll from Family Affair.

I think it's the way she sarcastically says, "Sawr-reee," as if the biker dude would chill if only he'd recognize the validity of her excuse.

Has Carl Reiner lost any more hair in the last fifty years?

Your kids' guns are toys?

My wife loves Home Depot. I hate it. (I'm a man.)

… motherfucking Vincent Bugliosi.

SPOILER ALERT, AZZHOLE!!

… motherfucking Helter Skelter.

**Shrieks; can never sleep again.**

Goddam George W. Bush! Worst conceivable President!!

All panties are edible if you chew hard enough.

Why does one wrap the phallic object in aluminum foil? Except, of course, to set off airport metal detectors?

WalMart does not have a fishmonger.

But he split the vote with the other Gallagher.

On the contrary. Albarn composed of that great punk song "Woo Hoo." —Dude at the Gym