Don't worry. It won't be long before they start calling for an end to naturalization of non-native-born white people.

You're heading towards - aww, fuck it, here's an actual excerpt from the book, which I guess contains spoilers, but you should really not care because it is so incredibly cringeworthy:

Weirdly, my Facebook feed contains no Pumpkin Spice Starbucks propaganda, but is simply crammed with Dairy Queen Pumpkin bullshit.

Xenu can be picked up by lawsuit-happy Scientologist litigants with a Google notification. Zenu is a stealth name for the galactic warlord, but is undetectable using current search engine technology.

Right. Like, I had a basic understanding of everything he was describing, and if you have such an understanding you could basically extrapolate what he's doing without him having to explain it 10 times. And I don't know if it was because I was reading a prepublication copy (I'm only saying that's possible - I believe…

Right. I guess I could kind of go either way on the Duggar thing - he's certainly a shitty person, but a) if giving him and his family some latitude to see how their upbringing and hyper-religious posturing have brought them to this point, it could be a learning and healing experience (though, IDK about the people he…

Sure, we've got to be defensive of that shithole Josh Duggar, but when this guy acts like an asshole we're automatically suspicious and dismissive of his motives.

Let me paraphrase, so that perhaps you understand how the rest of the commenters are reading you:
OP: RDJ and JLaw are statistical outliers, so while the difference between their salaries is a good annecdote, a better case could be made by looking at the whole fucking list instead of just two data points. In either…

God, if you have to explain again that there's a map that doesn't actually represent real popularity, you might just not have to post that map. We get it, some internet outfit wants to get pageviews by pandering to your geographic narcissism. GJI! doesn't have to help them in that cause.

Oh, shit. Now things that people remember incorrectly are evidence of the multiverse? Where have the internet theoreticians been all this time? We could have saved the physicists and cosmologists a ton of wasted time.

My personal (and I think reasonable) guess is that:
a) No one who was old enough to find the books tolerable was familiar with common surnames
b) Memories are generally maintained by replaying and reducing to an intelligible narrative
c) Surnames ending in -stein are plentiful; surnames ending in -stain are porn…

Probably the strategy here is to Thunderdome all three against eachother. I can't see all three surviving, though I'm no network exec.

I would think something like "The Hangover", except different. Or, even better, the study group does a "Muppets Movie" conceit.

You definitely have to watch the part with "local musician Marshall Mathers." Either Colbert is majestically trolling Eminem, or Eminem is trolling us all.

In all the corners of the internet that I (used to) frequent, I only really see/saw those links on Salon. Which only one of about a million reasons that I now avoid Salon.

I, for one, would not mind Colbert resuscitating 'Trump or Monkey' on his new version of The Late Show.

That's why I use weasel words like, "seems like". It's entirely possible that the droid is a well-constructed character, but the footage I've seen so far looks so wacky as to suggest something else.

BB-8, as a fan creation (to my understanding) is pretty cool, I guess, but he reminds me a lot of the Ewoks in the sense of being excessively cute. It (he?) seems to be probably the most Lucassian element introduced so far, in the sense that the robot seems to be a creation added to the film because it looked cool,…

Joke's on you, they were all going to get backed up anyways!

Your maths are bad and you should feel bad. Kinda. I mean, for one, 3 cents times 34 million equals about 1 million, not 10,000.