Yes. Yes we are.

"Everything was better when you were 12":

"Stepfather Factory" El-P.

Yup. Dullsville.

Yes. In fact someone left a copy behind the boathouse.

Is it…a tumor?

I prefer haikus to epics:

Still somehow less horrifying than the average Upper East Side toddler, what with his Otto Bock stroller and stoic Peruvian au pair.

At least not for any bourgeois, species-normative definitions of 'laid.'

How poor is poor? Most of their inferior Atlantic catalog can be had on CD for pennies. Gluey Porch Treatments and Ozma on vinyl on the other hand, well, you'll probably have to kill someone on Craigslist to get those. (Do they have Craigslist in Australia?) Or you could just skip the music part and get right to the…

So…how many copies can I put you down for?

This will explain everything:

Veal beer isn't actually a thing but I'm going to go ahead and allow it. (I'm pretty sure I have some pork beer vomit on my hiking boots).

The logistics of the erotic arrangement you suggest are a bit baffling, even to this effete, left-coast, liberal degenerate.

Except that Islam is like an anus and Jesus is like a vagina. There's more there! I mean, come on, dudes!

Catholics aren't Christians, silly!

Kneel before Mormo!

Man, people are totally humorless about the whole state-sponsored-racist-repression-with-murderous-violence-for-decades-and-the-courageous-non-violent-resistance-to-it thing.

I just want to be liked!

So that's who stole the cobalt-60!!!