They tried to make a _Lone Ranger_ movie in the early '80s that was infinitely, infinitely worse. Even HBO didn't run it forever. Thankfully memory repression and years of drinking have wiped out most of the details.

_Barry Lyndon_, the only thing Ryan O'Neil was ever tolerable in (and the cinematography is beautiful). _Once Upon a Time in the West_ for the absolute relish with which Hank Fonda plays a real bastard of a villain. I wish he had played more bad guys than overly-earnest Everymen just to show his range. Type-casting…

Loves me some _High Road To China_ ! My second favorite Selleck flick to _Quigley Down Under_. What's the one with Gene Simmons' hilariously bad acting?

*Any* type. And mimes/human statues are a triple clown score. Ventriliquists are worth a half clown each. Side-show geeks are on a sliding scale based on type. Folk singers are five clowns each.
Pro-tip: bury them in *other* peoples' backyards.

Could be Johnny Vegas. Shite with subtitles.

"The Last House Call You'll Ever Need…" (tm)

I have to sadly agree on this one. H2 is sometimes tolerable the History Channel is ass.

_Die Viagra_.

Wherever you go, there he is.

Hey, McGruff, how are those drug and weapons charges going?
Sounds like crime…
[takes of sungasses]
took a bite out of *you*!

It involves playing Bad News' "Drink 'Til I Die" backwards over and over again whilst drinking copious amount of bourbon. Eventually, Bon *will* manifest himself.
If you try that with gin you just get Shane McGowan.

Women's Studies gave Vercua Salt the critical tools and theoretical methodologies to extract the empowerment of female sexuality which was merely obscured by the false and insecure superstructure of apparently stupid cock-rock.
Furthermore, there were some *bitching* guitar riffs to "reappropriate" in the course…

I do only listen to AC/DC with Bon Scott.

Bon Scott and Bon Scott only. Accept no substitutes.

Probably end up being a Boregasm.

Look, fuck the RSPCA, mate. If you don't let me do the chicken sacrifice bit as well, I'm taking my top hat and frock coat and going home.
What sort of Houngan are you, anyway? You wanted me to hang them on a *scarcrow*, for fuck's sake! In Wenslydale!

Only in the Pacific and Indian Oceans.

"You're Not Worthy!" from Condescending and Nasty. A periodical for the vile, independently wealthy cad.

You both forgot "Automatic Weapons Fetishist" and "Obese Bride."

They *never* show that episode of _All Creatures Great and Small_ over here, god damn it :-(