"Crispy Cremes? More like *Cracky* Cremes!"

"Boy, do you know what I had to do to *get* these donuts?"

You could file for workers' comp due to Testosterone Poisoning.

Again. Some more. I'll bet that old productivity graph is just *spiking* right now.

Hall & Oates: a guilty pleasure right up there with Neil Diamond and K. C. and The Sunshine Band (who played FUNK, not DISCO as I rationalize it).
I'll go Maneater as well, for the bassline.

Two words: pellet gun. Hours of crazy-lawsuit fun!

I'll give them a shot. Uma, Oprah, Uma, Oprah: gimme Uma, please.

Yes, but in the C of E actually *believing* anything is frowned upon, because it Leads To Trouble.

Come See Majestic Viagra Falls!

HAYEAH!

So, why *did* your estranged daughter drop out of college?

Our cat, a crusty old cauliflower-eared Ginger Tom who is 24 pounds of shit in an 8 pound bag, just goes out on the porch and glares at children with sparklers on the 4th these days. ;-)

_Snatch Adams_ [shudders]. That one's scary.

I didn't care for it, either. I haven't seen the _Kill Bills_ yet as a result. I think I was having an allergic reaction to the Hype Machine, by then, because I'm a contrary bastard.

Are you an *extremely* devout Catholic or is that a euphemism? ;-)

"Sorry, boss, I can't come in today. I got a bad case of the Schlitz."

I would have confessed to war crimes I never committed at The Hague after my one and only full viewing of Manos. It broke me.
It broke me like a breadstick.

Little known fact: Uruguay and Paraguay once fought a war over which country was "guayer."

Also: walnuts.
Incidentally, do you exfoliate *while* you creep?

"War: it's faaan-tastic!"