"Uter likes Little Caesars!"

Pizza is like sex: I finish the whole thing in a couple of minutes and then spend the rest of the night weeping in greasy shame.

Not a SIXTH time.

They'll be able to see you coming through the reverse peep-hole.

The best entertainment news sites let you choose exactly which death squad you want your clicks to support.

Good news, everyone!

HELL-OOOOOOO!

The Trump campaign contains potassium benzoate.

Not Clancy Brown!

True story: a friend of mine, who happens to be Chinese, got a job at a tertiary education institute in the area that dealt with students' admin needs, known as student services. Since he was an admin officer, his official title was student services officer, or, as it appeared on his paperwork, SS officer. He took a…

Jamie Kennedy as Braniac.

"I got a FEVER … and the only prescription … is GOTHAM'S DESTRUCTION!"

This feels like a companion piece to the time in the Obama/McCain race where a news anchor asked Biden if Obama was a socialist, and Biden responded, "Are you serious? Is that a serious question?" and sighed heavily when the anchor said it was.

I will say what I want about Watergate: their breakfast buffet is sub-par, and I had to call down to the lobby twice to get fresh towels.

*loud whisper* "I think she's talking to the Clinton campaign."

Maybe she has blood coming out of her whatever. I hear that's what always happens when someone on Trump's team is asked a question they don't like.

I thought perhaps it represented the very real delay of his brain trying to figure out the subtle nuances of the phrase "all of them". "All … so that's like, 70%? 80? Man, I always sucked at fractions."

That's right, Dr. Allen Hu.

"The Joker is not a Juggalo. He may be a killer, a maniac, a Juggalo, but he is NOT a pornstar!"

Some people think his performance was killer. Croc of shit, I say.