"Oh, you're the enormous tit fondler? Right this way, Ms. Parton is waiting for you."

The gold standard of AV Club commenting.

If you want that, you'll have to wait for the fly-on-the-wall documentary about her.

And how many had an odd awakening?

Man, that takes me back to my prom night.

The A.V. Club

Yeah, I shoulda scrolled. I am a victim of my own hubris.

Well, that would be plausible in a movie like this. He's an apple turnover that's constantly "baked" - this shit writes itself!

"People call you a pervert - but every single animator does it!"

He draws sexy naked ladies that are all named Chris Sanders? That's highly specific.

The department concerned is far too overworked to get to all the cases they need to. And if anyone dares complain about all the unpaid overtime, they're out the door!

"You got your lips in my asshole!"

Qui?

'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secret Spicy Sauce'.

Because people think wands are silly, and magicians demand to be taken seriously.

"So you can't feed them after midnight. Okay, but … at what point after one midnight but before the next midnight am I allowed to feed them? You know what, fuck this, I'm buying a puppy. I'm pretty sure you can feed them whenever."

It really does seem like the guy was just saying "these things are not toys", which is something lots of retailers say about things they don't want to see misused or treated with less than proper respect. Sounds fair to me.

You imagine it!

Queerbaiting? Seriously? Steven Universe has never shied away from saying "these two characters are gay as fuck", why would they start now? Maybe, just maybe, the show has other plans for Lapis and Peridot (that might even be a relationship later down the line, who knows?) and you should let that be.

And have you noticed how people use the term "email" now, rather than the true and correct "electronic mail"? WHERE WILL THE MADNESS END?