I definitely remember, even heading up to election day, people predicting Romney could win the race. Watching the results on TV, it was clear early on he didn't stand a chance. And compared to Trump, Romney's Judge freakin' Reinhold.

I can't remember if it was the threat of gun control or the implementation of Obamacare that got a lot of conservatives talking about moving to Australia. Our reaction was "Guys, we have stricter gun control than you'll ever see, universal healthcare, and a left-wing government led by a woman*. Are you sure this is…

All that precious cynicism, wasted!

"I'm sorry, son, but we don't have any slave positions open at the moment. Don't worry, though, we'll keep your resume on file in case anything opens up."

My skin just crawled so hard it almost came off.

Moby holds sign saying, "We Demand to be Taken Seriously".

Also his obsession with using his name as a brand.

I applaud you for not including the bit about coming from "far away". That would never fly with Trump supporters.

I know I'm not pointing out anything new when I say that Trump has tapped into a deep well of rage amongst his supporters. I think it's gotten to the stage with these people where they want Trump as president just to send a message. They're sick of America becoming something they don't like so they'll "take it back",…

I think pretty soon Pence is going to try and subtly put out the message that, a) he can take over the presidency if Trump dies, and, b) that can be arranged.

My God, it makes so much sense.

"I've got the yuuuugest fucking lawyers."

Trump requesting "comfort" from Putin gave me a whole slew of mental images I didn't need.

"I'm not one of these people who goes around worrying about 'basic human decency', okay?"

"We all know what that baby was doing in its diaper. I'm not even going to say it. It's too disgusting."

I'm not on the petition! I am the petition!

"Bull dykes and Methodists go out in the midday sun."

"I have the best words. Words like 'double-plus-ungood'."

Prisons are fine, but apparently should be run by private companies rather than the government. Because there's no way that system could turn out horrifyingly.

Sure, if you buy retail. Like a chump.