In 2005 I was told every other day I looked like Scott Peterson, the dbag that offed his pregnant wife. The fact that my first name is Scott and my last name starts with P didn't help matters.
Thankfully, America has a short attention spans and Nancy Grace turned her ire to other monsters I don't resemble.
I was a…

If I knew it was gonna be that kind of party I'd put my dick in the mashed potatoes!

Jim Gafigan as Walter Mondale
Jennifer Connoly as Rosalyn Carter
Too bad Elaine Stritch is gone, she'd make a great Lillian

A guy on my floor in college used to play Trout Mask Replica all the time. His room smelled of feet constantly and he often wore running shorts that failed to completely cover his scrotum.

I think Stoltz could do Nelson and William H Macy as Carter.

Next let's see a movie of the time Willie Nelson smoked weed on the roof of the White House during the Carter years.
Anyone have any casting ideas for that?

The cops are hoping for an ADMISSION of guilt

He's hoping the cops will be CLUELESS to his plan

When it comes to procuring murder I guess Money Talks

I'll ask them at the next county fair

She was the Chuck Cunnigham of the Sopranos

Just watch the first season of Curb Your Enthusasm. Probably about the same

Lil Paulie with his gray racing stripes and wife beater shirts would be pretty cool

So it's commercial country on ABC. Hmm, I guess I could tune into FOX where Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reillys boners will still be throbbing after last night's election.

I take my pants and underwear completely off when I use a public urinal. I can't be the only one.

I live in Missouri and I'm proud to say I haven't visited Branson since the summer of 1988.

Ladies and gentleman of the jury does this sound like a seafood chain that killed ALL you could eat?

I see the typewriters but where are the monkeys?

Served APK right! He was such a buzzkill in that intervention!

If it were possible for Dick Cheney to die I don't think it would cause me any sadness.