I only like Riptide, the mascot for my hometown AAA baseball team. He's awesome looking and can take a punch.

Seduced and Abandoned: An A.V. Club Commenter's Erotic Journey From My World of Flops to The Dissolve

Rudeness Alert: As her husband on The Blacklist, shouldn't Tom know a good bit about the inside of Liz's box? The mystery fades after a few years, amirite fellas?

Watching The Blacklist is like eating a bowl of lead paint chips. You might be able to convince yourself it's tasty in the moment, but you'll be far stupider afterward and for the rest of your life.

My immediate reaction, as well. But sometimes the good die at a respectable age.

By being all four and then some.

They found him shortly after he finally listened to that album he made with Metallica.

I see six very good reasons to reboot Charmed.

Well, our childhood was wearing its gym shorts a little too tight.

Mr. Peabody also sounds awful. Can no living person do a close approximation of the original voice?

A g-g-girl!?

To cover his bases in the interim, Spike tweets out Kellen Winslow's address.

Jim Gaffigan and Gibourey Siddibe as the mismatched couple

Chris Hardwick became a nerdcore Ryan Seacrest so gradually, I hardly noticed.

*concusses, permanently disables 53 Michigan high schoolers*

Your facts are useless against us.

Will "Poochie" Smith

Does the script with Will Smith in it have the enjoyable, wisecracking Fresh Prince Will, or the dour Scientologist Will?

Truth. I haven;t been watching much of my recently available HBO. Maybe the lineup next month will be better.

Don't be a Pinhead.