But it doesn't have to stay that way, @avclub-beac60e274e63c64612fdcff2058af27:disqus !

How does that work? "Hey, girl, Midnight Meat Train." And why do you need to drop pick-up lines on your GF?

"Hey, cool."

I didn't like Midnight Meat Train.

Is your name Frank Grimes?

I don't need a doctor to tell me how much this sucks.

[Snorts.]

As someone with a really serious alcohol problem that has caused a lot of grief, I can't help but empathize with Joaquin Phoenix's character in 'The Master.' The loss of jobs, loneliness and struggle to connect with what purports to be his salvation (even if Scientology or "The Cause" is ostensibly crazier than AA)….…

Wow, @avclub-6dfdd63abbcb8863fba5ab0ab35d76f5:disqus , you're the first person have that realization. I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm really rude. It's just that as a gay guy I really hate sitting through Eddie Murphy apologies. You don't understand how terrible he really is until you're sitting in my seat.

By which I mean, no one needs a homophobic straight man to apologize for them. I'm sorry for being gruff.

Just shut up.

Actually the gay community hated Eddie Murphy, and rightly so. It would be one thing if he were funny. But he's not. 

Oh, shit. It is? What am I doing, then? Explain. EXPLAIN!

How 'bout some cookies?"

Ah, I see, @avclub-6b8aa777ed70e7f15a45947a0f0c5986:disqus , that actually makes perfect sense, and I'm only 22. Still, I think about "getting the most of something" all the time.

'Miss Machine' is just so good.

And yep, I am so excited about Bjork.

I usually make fun of Pitchfork and go anyways, but this year it is genuinely great. Swans, Breeders and Trash Talk all on the same day. Incredible. To me, at least.

Wow, I read everthing — the article, the comments — with Fred Willard in mind. I'll admit to not knowing who Fred Ward is. I will use "I'm gay" as my explanation. 

@avclub-2ac233bc53744593f485e5752aaa692a:disqus , don't be sad. I did, too! I loved going to the mall with my mom when I was 12.