Kimmy… sweetheart… I wanna be in the room where it happensdamnit, I'm really trying to comfort you.
I wanna be in the room where it happens-uh-I wanna be… sorry.
Room! Nope!
Forget it.
I wanna be in the room where it happens.

I like whores.

Even if you can blame ISIS propaganda for the past five years of this asshole's life being geared towards hatred and the desire to kill and be killed, even if he did this because someone connected with ISIS told him to do it, before that he had 24 years of living in a country that would expose him to violent…

It's about as good as aliens who can travel millions of miles to earth with heat rays and tripods but who don't know the germ theory of disease.

Do it anyway. Earl Grey is a foul drink, fit only for whores and Frenchmen.

I still think there's a world of difference between 'See I warned you about the lack of gun control' and 'People are congratulating me for my warnings on lack of gun control.'

On the last note, American teen pregnancy is actually at an all-time low. Admittedly, the disparities in states are exactly where you would expect, but still… things get better.

It can be two things.

Well then why does Charlie Brown say he's either going to be the hero or the goat?

The worst hot takes in this election will be pundits giving a running commentary on individual tweets. And for this to come from the man who promoted the balls-stupid Drumpf thing…

Yes, because MSNBC's new slogan is: 'We provide the rope, the rest is up to the candidates'

What's that TV? Another show which claims that, despite all evidence to the contrary, there's no difference between the two major American political parties even though that's the hackiest way possible to look like your low-information nihilism is a principle? Oh, I'm sorry. Since I can't tell you apart from another…

Looks like those alien brain slugs in Congress did it again. What a bunch of alien brain slugs.

There's been no seismic shift in either party. The Republicans have simply voted for a candidate who says openly what they've been thinking about for three decades, and despite what the youths believe the Democrats have been moving slowly, steadily and incrementally leftishwards for the past ten years.

Welcome, welcome. Tonight I want to talk to you about how studying the mathematics developed in India during the Vedic period can lead to suprising insights into the relationship between music and social networking … while escaping from a tank full of ravenous man-eating piranhas!

Hold on a sec - do you mean the film or the original comic? Because at the time it was written it wasn't stupid.

"a Portland, Oregon woman"

I'm quite excited about the idea that streaming services will encourage reducing dramas to a tight 30 minutes per episode.

I remember watching it at a midnight screening and the entire audience burst into laughter at the bit near the start where Weathers and Schwarzenegger clasp hands and air-armwrestle.

Tell you what, Clarence. Unless you actually see someone arguing that they would stand by the publication of the original story, assume at the least that they think apologies and settlement were appropriate.