*Says "I fulcrumed your mother" in Sean Connery on SNL Celebrity Jeopardy voice*

Well, when you're wrong 43,198 times (assuming it's a clock with a second hand) you're bound to be right the other 2 times! Them's good odds!

More like Rita Skeeter vs. Argus Filch!

Especially since the dead parent trope is also partly wish fulfillment for kids.

The whole thing of putting agency in the hands of kids is one more reason why I hate the whole lazy 'uhuh it's set in a boarding school so it's reactionary' criticism of Harry Potter. Like it would really be better if they had to stop saving the world at 6pm every evening so Hermione could go home for her dinner.

But now it's on the Internet!

Isn't it patricide or matricide only if the kid themself does it? Otherwise it's plain old moider.

I could get on board with the continuity if every episode satirises the people who thought the last episode was agreeing with them. Next week: People who think you can rape all your problems away. The week after: people who think the rape people are assholes.

Just because I used twitpic as a verb?

Or you could watch the 1995 film The Last Supper. With Bill Paxton! And Ron Perlman! I know it's also not really slacktivism as they do do… stuff. But they don't leave the house to do it.

You always hurt the ones you love.

I dunno, maybe Martin Shkreli Week isn't the week to complain about a film not adding nuance or subtlety to the portrayal of an amoral sociopath.

Outrage is when other people are upset about something that you personally don't care about, or are actively in favour of. Slacktivism is when other people are upset about something that you personally don't care about, or are actively in favour of but don't donate 100% of their time and money to the cause. Internet…

I've never missed him more since he left than when, during the Second Republican Presidential Mouthfart Competition, Carly Fiorina revealed she wanted her Secret Sevice codename to be Secretariat.

*Richard Dawkins angrily twitpics Ahmed Zewail's 3rd Grade Science Project* #Didn'tINVENTavolcano

I could care less.

Congratulations, have a Noah-Prize.

I think he'll do ok. There's a lot more potential mileage out of getting the correspondents to explain things to him as a naive foreigner than hiring someone to be a Jon Stewart Mk II Ringmaster. And waiting until Colbert's new show had been on for a couple of weeks was, in retrospect, the right move.

It can be two things.

What you were aiming for was not eroticism but intentional bananality.