If he'd actually called the film Intentional Banality then not only would more people have got it, but also the porn parody would have named itself.

Ooommmhhh. Continental breakfast.

It had its moments. I'll give you that. And there is a version of Green Lantern that Reynolds could play very well (hint: it's Guy Gardner!) But in the end it fell apart the same way every film that thinks it can start a franchise falls apart - a fatal attraction to making the origin story 95% of the movie and not…

An unreasonable amount of effort spent on 0% body weighting his abs. Completely ruined the Amityville remake for me.

No one spanks like Gaston
No one wanks like Gaston
When pulling penises nobody yanks like Gaston
(I'm especially good at mass fellating! Ptoooie!)
Chorus: Ten points for Gaston!
No one rims like Gaston
Eats some quims like Gaston
Then rinses your hole with some Pimms like Gaston
(I use antlers in all of my sodomising!)
Chorus:…

It also reminds me of the webcomic Power Nap which yadda yadda yadda.

TV series that try to fit a 120-minutes worth of ass in a 900-minutes pair of jeans through the judicious use of padding? I'm looking at YOU The Strain!

Michaelcaineitis is a terrible condition, manifesting itself in an unrepentant desire for nice food, drink, housing, first edition comic books and relatively few tax problems.

Really? What do you suggest, Krugerrands? Louis d'ors? Florins?

They Call Me Dr. Phibes

Hasn’t really been done in a horror movie since Night of the Living Dead? Has he completely forgotten about the Scary Movie franchise? And if so, would he mind sharing how that is done?

- Surely you're not serious!
- I am serious. And don't call me Siu Lee.

OK Commuter.

Being involved in a criminal conspiracy while commuting? What, does he have to use the British railway system?

Yeah, but it's not enough to look like Donald Trump. You've gotta sing like Donald Trump…

Meanwhile, in a animal welfare shelter upstate, Jon Stewart is biting a pillow and banging at his groin.

Open racism aside, the Klu Klux Klan do know a lot of knots.

I always thought he was more of an Al Bundy type.

equusmortuus-flagellation

But only if you want to join the Piers Gaveston Club.