I had a very similar reaction to the movie while knowing nothing about the book besides it was about murderin' kids. Basically, the movie's very well-made and hums right along, but nothing feels like it has much depth to it. Every character and concept felt like it was a Cliffs Notes version of whatever was going on…

Boo this man!

You get it from toilet seats!

No, in the end the uncle recants his crimes and helps pull her dad away. Then she smashes her dad's brains out with a sledgehammer. So she wins!

Thank you for getting that song stuck in my head.

"Four Walled World" is pretty epic.

Exactly. The story about the killer who jizzes in his pants whenever he makes someone die in a car crash, the one about the dude who gets repeatedly attacked by the possibly-imaginary incest-baby he had with his daughter (which comes back even after he chops it into pieces and flushes it down the toilet), the one…

I considered adding Pastwatch, which I liked at the time, but I also haven't read it in years and had similar doubts.

Essential stuff:

Yes, watch Dead Alive. You know how most decent zombie movies have 2-3 brilliant and hilarious ideas and after the movie you and your friends talk about how cool those ideas were? Dead Alive is nonstop brilliant and hilarious ideas.

Okay, so R, H, BA, HR, ERA, W-L, and Ks are inherently interesting, but FIP, xFIP, K:BB, OPS, wOBA, UZR, and WAR are dryer than mummy piss.

Right. By the way, this movie BLOWS. I might have to go back several years to think of a worse one. It's in serious Jonah Hex territory.

Also in the terrible category: The Reaping.

If I'm not mistaken, Mr. Burns' high-priced lawyer with the glasses is actually based on Roy Cohn! Now you get to enjoy a whole character more fully!

You're right. Totally forgot that part. So what was it like to write this movie, @avclub-4dae7032e72753a6c9d24a71307f561f:disqus ?

Oh, don't you worry, says this Mariners fan. Forgive the occasional home run to lefties, and Pineda will soon have you sinning so mortally you'll be glad Jesus' attention is now 3000 miles away.

Ha ha ha! I don't remember any references to "this economy," but you otherwise just spoiled the entire movie.

Dustin Ackley. I expect I will soon be having uncomfortable feelings for Jesus Montero as well.

That song may be the best on it, but yeah, Euphoria Morning is almost uniformly great. I love it, both as an album in itself and as a really nice counterpoint to Soundgarden. Cornell's a tremendous songwriter.

I would much rather be alerted to the presence of a book-product through silly games like these than the usual assortment of pull quotes and editorial superlatives. I actually thought the "blind CC" stuff was pretty funny.