That river is ice-cold even in August. I wouldn't be surprised if there were a couple of deaths related to hypothermia.

Back in college I had an '88 Nissan Sentra with the same problem. Took it to a place called the "Velvet Wrench" in Portland to have the carburetor rebuilt.

"How, in the name of ZEUS'S BUTTHOLE, did you get out of your cell?!?!"
That line cracks me up every time.

Genisys, by contrast, is just empty fan service
That describes pretty much any sci fi or fantasy movie released in the last 20 years

Speaking of the 90s, AV Club really should do an article about "grebo" music — that short-lived cyber-hippie subgenre influenced by Pop Will Eat Itself, Jesus Jones, and Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine.

Pizza Hut Hotdog Pizza is a flat circle.

Today's SCOTUS ruling means I can finally get married to my gun!
http://bearingarms.com/scotus-ruling-sex-marriage-mandates-nationwide-concealed-carry-reciprocity/

Sometimes I miss being a smoker.

Hah! I keep all my Bitcoins in my Canadian Military Fur Wedge!

In The Martian, is the protagonist named Marvin? Because that would be funny

It's stories like these that make Mark Frauenfelder poop in his pants!

Neck tattoos: The Everlasting Jobstoppers

I was listening to the 80s channel on Sirius XM this morning and the song "Kids in America" came on. Remember that one? Kim Wylde I think.

Two words: Albert Ayler.

Just imagine the possibilities for a Mad Max spinoff movie! Doof Warrior: Strum Und Drang

Are we sure that Chet Haze isn't the mythical fourth member of Icy Hot Stuntaz?

You know that SNL character Nick Burns, Your Company's Computer Guy? My cubicle is directly adjacent to an entire colony of these guys. From 8:30 AM to 6:00 PM it's a cavalcade of overwrought exaggerated annoyance ("SIGHHHHH… the latest version of AssTerminal isn't configured for the WAN!" announced to anyone in…

I think Jason Statham said it best: "Chiunque può farlo, hanno stuntmen, green screen."

If you haven't heard the album Morricone RMX, it's pretty cool. Came out about 15 years ago.

Notably absent: Talking Rain sparkling water, specifically Peach Nectarine.