Well, a region and season appropriate snowstorm that has happened before and will happen again is one thing; a first-time-in-the-history-of-anything utterly-inexplicable-if-not-magical cow-bisecting invisible-dome sealing the town off from the outside world seems slightly, uh, not exactly the same. Just, you know, a…

I think that's exactly backwards.  In a seriously fucked-up situation like this, people would panic first, freak out over it, obsess non-stop about it, and then gradually subside back into some version of daily life normalcy as the situation persisted day after day — not the other way around.

Presumably because you're a Canadaphile?

"I've walked away too far to come back."

I came for the Public Enemy quote, but I stayed for the Peanuts quote.

I'm pretty sure that's encoded in everyone's DNA, alongside the playground taunting song, "Na-na na-na-na."

Forget it, Jake, it's Internet Town.

I came to this article precisely because I knew the Rob Ford Crackstarter campaign would come up in the comments.  Thanks for not letting me down, @avclub-ba51e6158bcaf80fd0d834950251e693:disqus !

White trash families in Faulkner often give their children ridiculous, grandiose and pseudo-poetic names — think of Wallstreet Panic Snopes.  I'm pretty sure "Dewey Dell" wasn't straightfaced.

I read them in order of publication, personally (at least as far as I can remember).  There's probably a slight benefit to that, but I don't think it's essential to read them in any particular order — and chronological by events would be no better or worse than just random, really.

I gotta go with Gremlins, I'm sorry.  I'm old-fashioned.

Royal Flash is fun, but it's not my favourite.  The "It's just a smutty version of Prisoner of Zenda" joke! gets old by, oh, the midpoint.

Doesn't it wake her up?

The Pens are playing really sloppy on the defensive end.  I think the Islanders' speed is giving them trouble; plus of course the Isles are in that "just happy to be here, and any damage we do is gravy" headspace that you get with a young team making the playoffs for the first time in forever.  Another possibility:…

Wait till we get an episode narrated by Moe's noose!

I kinda enjoyed the clip show.  I miss the Castle write-ups… this season has been an entertaining mix of really fun episodes, with some absolutely embarrassingly abysmal ones thrown in (Alexis kidnapped two-parter, looking at you).  They dropped the coverage at the wrong time, dammit!

My money's on constipation.

I want flashing neon arrows and KILLIAN IS THE MANDARIN, AND NOT JUST IN A METAPHOR WAY WE REALLY MEAN IT THE REAL ACTUAL MANDARIN HE'S SECRETLY EVEN CHINESE thrice times in a ticker tape scroll at the bottom of the screen.

@avclub-a9f5102dde8ca6e2ef0b18e777e918ed:disqus That's a solid point.  Four or five days at Ponderosa, with cocktails and decompression, can do wonders.

The Phantom of the Island!  Can you play the organ?