He's like Milan Kundera: "Me, opposed to abortion?  On the contrary, I think it should be mandatory!"

…by a small group of smug and cranky assholes.

…by a small group of smug and cranky assholes.

You're not the one who sounds like a dbag.

You're not the one who sounds like a dbag.

Singing/lipsynching into a hairbrush

Singing/lipsynching into a hairbrush

Flagged for gratuitous agreement.  Five yards, repeat first down.

Flagged for gratuitous agreement.  Five yards, repeat first down.

Man, you guys missed the boat.  The Jimmy Castor Bunch should have dominated the fuck out of this inventory.  King Kong, Troglodyte, and The Bertha Butt Boogie are all obviously chilling metaphors for… uh… the mating rituals of, uh, big dumb men and, uh… foxy chicks with big butts, um, gettin' down and, uh… wait, do…

Man, you guys missed the boat.  The Jimmy Castor Bunch should have dominated the fuck out of this inventory.  King Kong, Troglodyte, and The Bertha Butt Boogie are all obviously chilling metaphors for… uh… the mating rituals of, uh, big dumb men and, uh… foxy chicks with big butts, um, gettin' down and, uh… wait, do…

I don't think buggering koala bears will ever catch on in the States.  The scoring is just too confusing.

I don't think buggering koala bears will ever catch on in the States.  The scoring is just too confusing.

Roseanne?  I mean, come on.

Roseanne?  I mean, come on.

Usually page one, then proceed in numerical order until you reach the end.

Usually page one, then proceed in numerical order until you reach the end.

"Claudine Married" by Colette.

"Claudine Married" by Colette.

It's from a traditional ghost story.  There's a version of it in this book: http://www.amazon.ca/In-A-D… (my five year old loves ghost stories), I'm sure there are lots of others.