Look, if we get Livewire to replace Hail to the Chief, this one will be a win.

I love how people who have been making the same "South Park is nihilist therefore isn't valid" criticism for 10 years will still cling to it even when South Park takes a clear, one-sided stance on something. Bullshit argument in the first place; even more bullshit now.

Of all the things in the world, this is certainly one of them.

Careless Hammering is my favorite Wham song.

Human Cartoon Has Opinions on Things.

Not EVERY game has to have Poop Mountain, you know.

There's a shady cabal somewhere with major stakes in soccer and food bugs just DESPERATE to crack the American market.

Fire is a tool of the patriarchy, and also bad.

Hey, we can't even get the guy in the Super Bowl halftime show. This isn't exactly a powerful coalition of internet dorks.

"Great Job, Internet: Some hump from the comments section dies in the background of Game of Thrones."

NO ONE EVER SPECIFIED THE TWO FIGHTERS AGAINST A STAR DESTROYER WERE NECESSARILY X-WINGS.

He could just be in Porn, Maryland.

Whenever I do yardwork it MUST be to Use Your Illusion II and The Real Thing, which were in a strict four-tape rotation with both ends of Monty Python's "The Final Rip-Off" for every bout of leaf raking, snowblowing and lawn mowing from the age of 14 on.

Please shoot "empowered" and "problematic" into space, too.

I'm begging you all, from the bottom of my heart:

So … I'll just assume White Zombie, Barry White, White Town and White, Great are all keeps, then?

Yep. And with the added side effect of revealing how bad most of your friends' senses of humor are.

Man. You sure showed the '50s.

That Stiffs Inc. record is so undeniably good. "Quick, Watson!" is the ticket to immediate rocking out, and the rest of that disc is front-to-back badass. I once randomly had to interview Walt Parazaider and tried to talk to him about "Chelsea" and the unexpected ways music can infect other songs, and he (rightly) had…

Had the Stones been able to play there decades earlier, Keef would've rocked the Communism right out of Castro, saving countless years of diplomatic strife.