Wait a second. Garfield eating all the pizza in town is a supply chain and inventory problem, but he has Odie building an oven as some kind of solution? This isn’t some production capacity issue. If he wants to help, Garfield needs to get Odie out there forming strategic relationships with farms and ranches in a…

Absolutely true, but in both cases the onus and choice are on the people involved. If you have the kind of job where occasionally everyone has to “stay until it’s done,” and you choose to have kids, your fellow employees aren’t automatically required to take up your slack. I had a job like that for a while and several…

This is all great, just don’t assume having had kids makes the people who didn’t have kids your servants. I can’t tell you how many times a co-worker has seen it as a foregone conclusion that I’d be handling something for them because it was a child based issue. I had one co-worker who used to inform me she’d be…

When she wrote, “that a whole country is desperately clinging to as a final hope,” I assumed she meant American fans hoping another fucking Boston team doesn’t win a championship.

Oh my god, how have I never seen this? It is a masterpiece.

You have two options:  Change your underwear every day or never, ever, ever mention this again to anybody.  Ever.

Never soiled? What a high bar you’ve set for your disgusting self. 

So I am about 7 months out from when it happened. I still have some issues walking down stairs (eccentric movements), and my running career is definitely over. Progress is being made though. My knees definitely can predict weather now as well

[Olivia] was passionate about her career, and now everything she built has imploded before her eyes . . .

This one got me. My 10-year-old daughter does stuff like that. She’s always creating little crafts and drawings and letters and giving them to me. I mean, they suck because she’s 10, but I love them so much.

And you know what? I didn’t NEED to know how to climb a rope. That was NEVER important.

It’s that “give you shit” part that I really dislike. Like I said, it almost seems like they’re getting some self-worth by having you validate the things they like. That, or some sort of one-upmanship in the case of “I can’t believe you didn’t know [a maybe common, maybe slightly obscure] fact.” Just a sort of verbal…

I thought Syracuse was CENTRAL New York?

The Panthers immediately reached out to Kate Beckinsale to see if she wanted her turn for a ride.

Maybe if it's a tennis ball.

Don’t forget the other standby “Police Action at Andrew/Central/Harvard”

In Boston, our trains set themselves on fire. MBTA calls it "adjusting for schedule". 

This is me! I submitted this question 4 months ago.. And I’m already divorced! Illinois does not give a shit about legal relationships apparently! Anyway, she is 100% still dating that guy and taking my kids to stay at his house in Chicago every other weekend! Bitch! Anyway, I’m coming out the other side, thanks for…

People who have kids loving those kids and being happy with their decision is, obviously, a wonderful thing. What continues to mystify me is why the majority of [especially educated, privileged] people still want children. This is not meant to be a snarky take, nor am I some sky-is-falling “why would you bring…

Funbag has never made me happier than right now. A couple months ago I casually mentioned to some co-worker buddies that I don’t use the toilet seat covers and they were aghast. Came home confused and talked about it with my girlfriend; she was horrified at my behavior. All of a sudden I was the weird one for just…