I’ve always thought....

If Jeff Sessions does leave. Will he go back to be a senator, or is he out of congress (at least until next election)?

...says an extrovert, I’m sure

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Some conservatives tried to rename two of our popular foods “Freedom Fries” and “Freedom Toast” because France was vocally against us going into Iraq for the second time?

I read this in John Oliver’s voice.

Right? “Boning” a vampire is how you become a meal. “Making love” on the other hand, they might turn you if they really like you, otherwise you’ll just be a pet.

It’s a tire

I came. I saw. I took a selfie.

First of all, it’s insurance.

My student loan service is weird. They apply extra payments to both principal and interest. As if I’m making a payment ahead of time.

Negative children also appear to be an option.

All of the food coloring in that makes it look like it has a bitter aftertaste.

Coming from Courtney Love, that’s saying something.

This is another way to find out if you smell. If your house smells, then you probably do, too.

Puppies are wayyyyyy cuter than babies.

I want to be the eccentric, rich aunt who dies and enriches all her nieces and nephews.

Yep, if I can’t see their headlights in my rearview mirror, I feel like I am cutting them off.

There is this quirk to San Francisco Bay Area driving. If you signal a lane change, especially if you are going from right to left, the car behind you in the lane you want to enter will speed up and pass you. If you are back there, and we are going near the same speed, I will signal and look back and see what you are…