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Darling... Your passionate analytics and seamless integration of sustainability and storytelling help me to downsize my enterprise. The knowledge you bring of offshoring opportunities, data mining collaboration and scalability pushes me to think outside of the box.

But she’s really not though. Much like Phyllis Schlafly, if she were really the wife she claimed to be, she’d be at home 24/7 with no job and no other reason to live than her husband, kids, and religion while obeying his every command.

I never get this.

I love IKEA. I love looking at the display kitchens where everything is so damn organized, I love the house plant section, do I need another house plant? I do not. But I’m going to buy another one anyway. And I talk up their black out curtains to anyone who will listen. 

Guys, you’re doing IKEA all wrong. Shop online, put everything on your shopping list, input your store, print. You now have the location of everything you want/need. When you get there, eyes forward, game face on.

This is why to me he is really not all that different from Trump (personality-wise). I’m not a fan of populist rhetoric, and I think it often fuels certain types of firebrand politicians who are in it more for the power and ego trip than to actually govern. Sanders has not been able to present voters with clear plans…

It’s exactly what senators do. But the problem is that when, say, Cory Booker votes for a bill that helps pharmaceutical companies because many of his constituents are pharmaceutical company employees, he’s labeled corrupt and pandering and untrustworthy and in the pocket of Big Pharma. But when Sanders votes against…

Bernie isn’t the only one who talked about those things. Bernie didn’t invent those ideas. Democrats have been fighting for universal health care. They’ve been advocating for a higher minimum wage. He may have pushed them further left, but in general Bernie gets outsized credit for talking about things the Democrats…

Do these cookies have nuts? Asking for an intolerant friend.

I wouldn’t mind if Tucker Carson was spiritually neutered. At least he’d stop humping everyone’s leg

You must be one of those nut jobs, so I’ll try to make something as clear as possible. Animals that cause disease don’t get to coexist in urban environments. I know you’re probably horny to get yourself killed by a lung parasite (dying for your cause and all that), but no one else is.

It seems every year, airlines shrink the amount of legume I get on an airplane.

Clearly she is suffering from a lot of economic insecurity.

Les Miserables would have been a lot shorter if Jean Valjean would have just explained that he didn’t know the bread was a sentimental item.

Counterpoint: Fuck people who advocate and support human rights violations.

Counterpoint:

Are you actually calling detaining asylum seekers and putting children in cages a set of “beliefs” that one should be allowed to hold in peace? Words have really and truly lost all meaning. I can’t...

Per the indictment, there’s a good chance that Paul Manafort may have committed some light treason.

Is she pretty though? Or do we think she’s pretty because her brothers look like a ball of grease and an episode of DS9 where Odo gets a disease?