I have twice in my life managed to rename people based on what I thought their names should be. The first time was a TA in college. My friend and I decided he looked like his name should be Brad. By the end of the semester, all my classmates and even the professor were calling him Brad.

Whoa whoa whoa. Maryland is not a hick state, and these douchewaffles are not representative of Maryland. I’m from Maryland and pretty much everyone I know does yoga. There are yoga classes in every community center. We are, on the whole, a reasonable bunch of people.

Should be executed by firing squad. I would temporarily rescind my objections to capital punishment to watch it happen.

Thank you! :)

Pressure cooker for perfect beans. I have an Instant Pot, which is a combination pressure cooker/slow cooker/rice cooker/yogurt maker magic machine. Perfect beans in like 30 minutes.

You don’t happen to have the recipe in online form, do you? That looks magical.

I had a hankering for pasta and decided to make spaghetti aglio olio for the first time. Used Ina Garten’s recipe http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-ga…html and holy amazeballs was it delicious. No pic, sadly, because Señor Vaginafoot and I devoured it. It was not fancy and yet so fancy.

Right? I would rock the shit out of that.

Congratulations :)

I got married this year at 31. I’m a just-barely-functioning adult. When I see 23-year-olds getting married, I’m like “aaaaaahhhhhh, child brides!”

A fetus with a gun, obviously.

Dying.

Was going to say precisely that.

She’s just jelly because she knows she’ll never get to go to the White House.

ANAL BUM COVER

Mr. Vaginafoot answers to Cashewsaurus Rex and Dolfy. He calls me Cucumber Head and Daughter of Satan. And Bandit.

YES! This is exactly how I feel about it. I like bright, crazy things, and I feel like looking at a whole Desigual store from across the street is way more fun than looking at individual pieces close up, because they are gross when you actually look right at them.

I remember one of the weirdest and most awkward conversations I ever had. I (half-Jew) was studying abroad in Chile and two of my friends (one half-Jew and one of Irish extraction) and I were having lunch in the university cafeteria when this Chilean girl came to talk with us. Turns out she was an intern working with…

Yes to all of this. I find the leftist anti-Semitism really disturbing, although I also feel like there are people who take any criticism of Israel to be anti-Semitic. I definitely don’t think you’re doing that, but there are people who do it, and it contributes to this vicious circle.

I honestly don’t even think Scotty is capable of coming up with a smokescreen that complex. He looks like someone whacked him over the head with a metal bucket. Repeatedly.