Seriously, there is throw up all up in my mouth right now.

So, I’m almost positive my grandmother shaded my dad, but I need an official ruling from Judge Brown and the other members of the jury.

No offense, but...

What. The. Fuck. What. The. Fuck. What. The. Fuck.

I was on Match.com to look for a relationship. I went out with some guys who were just in it for the hookup, but did not specify that, including one who was clearly married (I dropped that one like a hot potato, obviously). After those experiences, I updated my profile with a statement to the effect that “if your…

Agree with the Groupon tip. In fact, you can get some fancy restaurant meals for cheap if you can speak the local language and look for local Groupons. I did it when I went to Paris and would definitely do it again.

I actually just snorted so hard that it sprayed my screen. Thank you.

Right on! This white girl doesn’t scrub toilets, she lets her Latino husband do it...wait, shit. I’m part of the problem. In fairness, the esteemed Sr. Vaginafoot claims that he makes more of a mess in the bathroom, and it is therefore his responsibility to clean it. No way I’m looking that gift horse in the mouth.

Well played.

Agree.

Amen.

Exactly. I was thinking the same thing. Fuckabee doesn’t give a good God damn about Jews, he just wants to be magically zipped up to heaven when the rapture comes, but that can’t happen unless the Jews are around to be annihilated. Seriously, fuck that guy.

Mini Frappucino...I am a fan of your work.

Me too! I heart Ice and Coco! Can’t wait for baby Ice Coco!

NO. Just NO. Sweet baby Jesus on crutches. I love peas. I love sunflower seeds. They have their place, and that place is NOWHERE NEAR MY FUCKING GUACAMOLE. LEAVE MY GUACAMOLE ALONE, YOU MONSTERS.

Aw, don’t do that to Santana. He doesn’t deserve that shit. Very few people do...

I think it may have to do with the same social pressure that makes women shrink themselves to fit in any space (like when dudes are manspreading next to them on the subway). It’s kind of drilled into us that we need to be small and delicate and not take up a lot of space, so maybe it makes women feel unladylike to be…

I’m a fairly tall lady (5’7), and I genuinely do not understand this. I’ve dated guys who were a couple of inches shorter than me, and I’ve dated a guy who was almost 7 feet tall, and honestly, who cares? Everyone’s the same height lying down anyway. I mean, damn. I’m sorry that some online daters suck :(

Yeah, I’ve lived in several countries with populations that are pretty short, on average (Spain, Colombia, Nicaragua). People look at me like some kind of freakazoid giant half the time. I’m 5’7. I eventually learned to embrace it and even started wearing heels when teaching classes to up the intimidation factor.…

It’s not a celebrity being a dick story, but it’s a story I will cherish forever.