Correction: The Jets did have something to gain by faking an injury. It gave them time to game-plan a punt return. If I recall, the Jets only had one timeout left (or zero).

Do I have to make my bed every morning if I already have a night time ritual (Camus, masturbation and melatonin)?

I'm a guy type person, and I change them about every two weeks. Because it's so nice to sleep in a bed that smells like laundry detergent and is nice and warm. Any time I do laundry, I wash the sheets.

I love Sriracha as much as the next guy who hates himself and his ability to taste other foods. But really? On a PBJ?

The correct answer is apple jelly. Tastes like an apple pie in your fucking mouth without having to turn on the oven.

"The lede is the most vital line in a story."

Dan Shaughnessy (I refuse to check if my spelling of his name is correct) is pretty insufferable. He's a columnist, sure, but he deserves Dishonorable Mention.

This is true, but after the Greg Robinson Era, the man could do no wrong.

Kant didn't have a golden rule. He had a categorical imperative. You're thinking of Jesus.