Of course, how else will people know you are really important?

A++ Kitchenette callback, RIP Kitchenette. *pours out bottle of ranch*

I am an old and I figured it out months ago. Just let go of your pearls, apply basic comprehension skills, and you’ll figure it out.

The person continued: ‘‘Everyone is trying to make him stop talking, and the woman is shrinking in her seat.’’

Does that mean in two years when I’m being handed my phd, my memories of being assaulted by men will be magically replaced with new memories in which I pet kittens with philosophers? Because that would sure make nighttime public transit less of an anxiety crap shoot.

I think some of those people think getting married will change or fix something. IMHO, you shouldn’t get married unless you want things (and the person you’re marrying) to pretty much stay the same.

Kara, legitimate question: could Hillary quoting Michelle Obama’s DNC speech be shady? Considering Melania? Because it murdered me but I’m not sure it was intentional. Would it have been better if she quoted the 2008 speech that Melania plagiarised?

What about when Hillary talked about Michelle Obama’s amazing speech at the DNC convention? Melania shade?

So far:

I have an uncle who’s a bully and nothing unnerves him more than just calmly staring at him in response to whatever he’s spewing. Occasionally saying, “it’s interesting you feel that way” without looking or sounding interested bothers him too.

This quote from Parks & Rec about Bobby Newport and his debate with Leslie is scarily spot on for tonight: “Oh, he’ll be fine. Expectations are crazy low. If he puts two sentences together without crying, the press is going to say he’s doing surprisingly well, and if he falls to pieces, he’s going to look sympathetic.…

“I believe that both candidates have the intention of making the country a safer and stronger place for every American, they just have different ideas about how we get there.”

America: you have just two skittles to choose from, and one will DEFINITELY KILL YOU.

Waiting for Angel...

Here is the thing. The country and society that you envision, and want, is impossible if she doesnt win. If she does, then at least we aren’t stepping backwards and can continue moving forward. If you have a President whose supporters are encouraged and inspired by white supremacist rhetoric and ideology, what chance…

Sam Bee is not obligated to support your quixotic dream of remaking our democracy at the expense of our actual democracy.

That dog is missing its Buzzy Bee.

When it comes to feminist media heroes, Broad City >>>>>>>> Girls

the only thing pasta makes me want to fuck is some REM cycles