I need this.

Damn picture won’t stay where I put it...

He should either hit Copperhead road in something sleepy fast, like the Roadmaster shown above or (and much better) get a Citroën Loadrunner!

Herr Bohne. Not a comedian though, he just lectures children about the importance of eating beans.

Herr Bean?

Have you checked Matt Farah’s parents’ house?

From my experience, there are even more features that a 3-Series has that its owners have no clue about. Turn signals for example.

Eight. Three adults can fit in the back row if they aren’t 6’5.”

Shouldn’t it be balaclavaklava?

“Maybe Air Canada can look into compensating for some therapy.”

Don't forget to factor in the LS variable.

According to my calculations, the answer is; Miata.

Since this “Ape” is an Italian word, it is pronounced like “Ah-pay”, and it means “bee”. So unfortunately, the primate jokes are only superficially applicable 

Real jalops put their kids on Honda 3 wheelers

David Tracy would make an excellent country music name.

Counterpoint: That’s harder than it looks, my dude.

*cough*

There’s a glaring omission to this list:

forcing me to have to rip the E-brake.