Definitely Won The Australian Open While Pregnant

Me currently..

Still better than the ridiculous idea of starting a runner at 2nd base in extra innings.

A hiker ascending a 10,000-footer hauling lasagna with meat sauce wasn’t particularly prepared for every eventuality, you say?

This whole “OBEY ANY AND EVERY ORDER YOU ARE GIVEN OR YOUR HUMAN RIGHTS ARE FORFEIT” deal aboard airliners is getting really old.

Deadspin isn’t what it used to be. I’m a mediocre commenter in general, but if this can’t get me out of the greys, I give up(This is pathetic, drunk groveling, but at this point I’m desperate.)

Seriously though, good for him.

He’s probably crying because he realizes he needs to spend time in Philadelphia.

this is a bad comment. walk it back Samer. WALK IT BACK.

Your religious persecution complex might be getting in the way of your reading comprehension.

I hate that I don’t know if either one of you is kidding.

America!

Same for me. But only because I have no retirement savings and will probably work until I drop dead anyway.

I was injured at the competition last week but now I’m in stable condition.

we’ll choose the winner of this competition via Gallop poll

I was invited to be a pretend horse once. I said “Nay”.

God works in mysterious ways. That Turkey was going to be the next Hitler.

If they’re looking for an unoccupied space that’s hosted bowls, how about Mark Davis’ head?

Tim Tebow’s Mom Would Have Aborted His Baseball Career