Angering Drew enough to get him to write this, even though it physically pained him? I regret nothing.

All Day I Dream About Salvation

Boston sports fans are as fairweather as it gets. I lived in Boston from 1990-1992 and I could count on 1 (maybe 2) hands the number of Pats fans I encountered. Sawks fans? Tons. Bruins fans? plenty. Celtics fans? There were many, but as the team went from Larry Bird and titles to Reggie Lewis & Dee Brown not winning…

How is this a story? Native American slurs are yelled and beer is dumped at literally every Washington D.C. professional football game.

A large part of our mission is ruining nearly all forms of fun except those we explicitly endorse, which are mostly made up of obnoxious in-jokes and obnoxiously literary poop jokes.

After successfully eliminating CTE the NFL today announced a new campaign to stamp out Chronic Feminine Clumsiness

"Hey man, women don't like cheaters. They don't. They don't like liars and cheaters."

"The NFL turned to sixth alternate Joe Flacco, but he declined because his wife is expecting their third child."

This isn't anything new. After Super Bowl XXV, Scott Norwood kept shaking his head and muttering "God hates FGs".

God throwing interceptions is not a huge stretch. This is the same guy who locked in on The Virgin Mary and never even looked at another receiver.

"That's God setting it up, to make it so dramatic, so rewarding, so special," he said, as he was untied by his father Abraham.

A team source backed him up

He's obviously not fat. Anybody with two i's can see that.

His new number is too long to fit on it.

Denver needs to win a superbowl before Elway starts this sort of self aggrandizing talk. He's clearly putting the cart before himself.

Well the journalists above were convinced enough to dismiss the idea based on a sample size of 0 games.

i told u I wanna check u out make sure i like the goods

That would explain how Randy Johnson made it in. He's always been a big lefty.

Is "Republican" a euphemism for "had his first really good season at age 34 and never won a Cy Young?" Because that would be weird.

As a Republican, Curt should be less concerned with where his votes are coming from and more concerned with suppressing them.