Miami Dade PD says no charges will be filed, for fear of inciting the wrath of the immortal Ned.

If I had a dime for everytime I was just kickin it mellow on my lawn chair in the on deck area of an MLB game and a black midget starts blowin up my spot, Id be a very rich man.

It's a shame to see Jay Cutler taken down just as soon as he shows some goddamn passion.

In the post-trip scuffle, credit to the guy in the blue shirt for hiding behind his mom.

Attractive chicks up front with two dudes in the backseat having the time of their lives? Yeah, those Travolta-Cruise double dates sure were a hoot!

The pure weirdness of this video is sure to cheer up any Mavs fan, even the saddest faction.

I liked "for-profit" schools better when we still called them degree-mill scams.

Some people have concerns about Brandeis, a school that is essentially still waiting for a prophet.

Grand Canyon University is a for-profit Christian college in Phoenix, Arizona.

NO they aren't and you spelled 'profit' wrong and...

And yet no one complains about Brigham Young, a school that's outspokenly for-prophet.

You know your sports team has made it when it gets its first dick pic scandal.

+5 inches

"This is the next Brett Favre story if not bigger."

Bullshit. Everyone knows that can't be real.

/puts down NL Central standings

If this woman was a potential hurdle to Lolo's success as a bobsledder, I'm sure she hit her.

[Beaten to the "Lenin" joke. Tsar-y]

He was Putin on the brake. Or am I Russian to my judgement?

Stalin = Russian leader = Pun

So what? China's been manufacturing gymnasts that can't bleed for decades.