100 texts = talented recruit

I wish Jeopardy would do a before-and-after like, “Commodore and juiced racist NFLer”...What is Lionel Richie Incognito?

Felger is either a smug know-it-all or he plays one everyday. Either way he’s like Francesa’s illegitimate mid-Western turd of a son.

First CNN now Jalopnik! Thanks for the free tranny porn!!!

People need to stop making excuses for this old prick’s history of physical and verbal abuse just because he won basketball games.

Thanks...now my car feels like a cuckold.

This article makes a great point because a guy who hangs out with a bunch of guys can be dangerous...especially if that bunch is FUNKY!

Considering how rugged the outside is, I expected the interior to be military grade with torches on sconces and dials made of animal bones.

The styling is an improvement. With the top up it reminds me of a cross between a late 70s Datsun 280Z and an early 70s Opel GT (For the auto-pricks I realize neither of these were convertibles).

First time seeing the iDx...interesting. Looks like a Camaro and Mini Cooper had sex.

I have a 2007 Ford Edge. The roof is rustier than the B-52s “Loveshack”, water leaks in the front when it rains, and my washer fluid hasn’t worked since Stepbrothers came out. Please destroy my car! Now that I think of it, since my wife is ruining my life...please make sure I’m in it when it happens!!

Pretty cool, but can it beat Michael Keaton’s Stutz Bearcat from the classic 80s movie “Night Shift”?

That.

Allbright puts numbers to a point I’ve been making for years. Talk about nepotism! Rob has absolutely no business being a defensive coordinator, but his father may have been the best of all time. As long as Rob is coaching in the NFL there's only one thing we can do...take the OVER!

I needed the same eye bandages after I saw Hope Solo’s leaked nudes. It looked like the Ted Williams tunnel, with slightly less traffic.

My daughter and I saw this 1981 model last week...when it pulled away it seemed like the engine was a Briggs & Stratton.

It’s “Classy” Brucey Miller...get it right you pencil-neck geeks!

Pushing limits is a great thing...congratulations to Wester and his team on the accomplishment. Probably picked up so much speed because he has balls the size of watermelons.

Starting 1 and 2 with “unfrosted” is a classic way to cause controversy and make this viral. It’s like when Rolling Stone chooses Ringo Starr as the best drummer...no one believes it, not even then. People who like unfrosted Pop-Tarts grew up before WW II...they like Bit-O-Honey, old-fashioned donuts, and when they…

Tortorella, Ali’s wife, and the Iron Sheik should start a spoken-word tour on how people should be humble.